A Constant Change

Originally Written on November 4, 2008

For I am the LORD, I change not…
Malachi 3:6

It did not seem like much at the time it was planted, but it has grown to show me how constant my Lord tends to be. As a friend left the bush beside our house, I never imagined it would actually do what he said it would... The small, green leaves seemed so insignificant that I doubted they would ever take change like he promised. Yet, I watched and waited, and last year, it did nothing. It remained the same, hunter green and never changed in size. I was almost disappointed when this "special" bush did not change before my eyes. Of course, I never took the initiative to water it or prune the plant, but I just expected something to happen.

I am not usually that fond of change, but at the same time, it happens all around me. I have changed hair colors, phone numbers, and cities. I have changed cars, jobs, and relationships more often than I will ever admit. I have made new best friends, began shopping at different stores, and completely changed the ways I think throughout the years. In just two short years, God has transformed me from a single, outspoken teacher to a married, stay-at-home, soon-to-be mother, and not all of these changes have been easy to accept.

Expecting change is one thing, but having it happen without knowing how to handle it is another. I am reminded of Abraham when the Lord told him that his barren wife, Sarah, would give birth in Genesis 17 and 18. He fell on his face, laughed, and doubted the change the Lord promised. Sarah also laughed within herself at the idea of becoming pregnant in her old age. Though they had been told, Abraham and Sarah seemed astounded when she bore Isaac (Gen 21:6-7). Never has change been an easy thing to accept, even when you are waiting for it.

Hannah prayed for change. Though her womb was closed, she went year after year praying for a child. Hannah even vowed that if the LORD of hosts would grant her a son, “…then I will give him to the LORD all the days of his life (1 Samuel 1:11).” Did Hannah realize what she was promising? After pleading years for a child, would she willingly give it away? We all know that she did (in the latter portion of 1 Samuel 1). She begged for change and received it. She waited for change and cherished it. She longed for change and loved it.

No matter how change comes, it is never what we expect, and its outcome is not always what we planned. However, while waiting on our burning bush, which never seemed to bring forth the change I was hoping for, I have learned that God is in the midst of the changes we seek or are given. He promised that He Himself would never change. Daniel said, “Blessed be the name of God forever and ever, for wisdom and might are His. And He changes the times and the seasons… He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to those who have understanding (Daniel 2:20-21).” Though things around us are changing, we can be confident in knowing that the Lord will give spiritual guidance to those who seek Him.

As I looked outside this afternoon, I saw the most beautiful thing… change. In it, I saw how faultlessly and timely the Lord moves. The leaves were a bright red, and just like Moses before his burning bush, I stood in awe of the wonder of change and the beauty of a constant God.




Finding My Consistency in Christ,
Jenna Johnson

When He Speaks

A man’s heart plans his way, But the LORD directs his steps.
Proverbs 16:9

For three days, I worked diligently on a painting that would be given to an expectant mother. I watched as the colors fell into place and became one of the most unique things I had ever done. The baby's name soon was creatively decorated onto the canvas, and finally, the decision on which scripture to use was finalized. As I wrote the bright pink verse on the pink and green polka dotted canvas, I did not know then how true they would be for me in the next few days...

Just a week before I began this gift, I had applied and been accepted to Western Kentucky University's online Master's Program in Elementary Education. I was overjoyed at the possibility of pursuing a purpose in my life. The door opened for me so quickly to go back to college; I never once took the time to really pray it through. It just seemed as if it were the right thing to do.

In my heart though, I believe I knew better. Just like the pink and green dots so brilliantly corresponded, a teacher with a year off should take the time to get her Master's degree. Or so I thought. We joke about it now, but my husband questioned me one afternoon about going back to school. The anxiety about it was overwhelming me, and with such clarity and conviction, I told him, "I would rather be a mother, than have a Master's."

For the past nine months, I have longed for a child. In December of 2007, when I learned we were in fact pregnant with our first child, I knew God was answering my prayers. Just two short months later, when that same God took the baby into His arms, I asked Him over and over why it had to be this way when He had just given me all that I wanted. When we didn't get pregnant in the next few months and knowing I would not be teaching in any school in the upcoming fall, we decided that God wanted us to further our education. I shared the information with family after being accepted, and as excited as they all were, my dad said the most peculiar words after learning of the news, “I thought you were calling to tell me you were pregnant." He even seemed disappointed (don't take this wrong because my father would love to see me graduate again).

I'll be honest... I was too. Two years ago when I graduated from Western, I was so thankful to be leaving and had no intentions of going back. God seems to have His own ideas and plans, and He actually wasn't keeping them from me. You see, as I was busy making my own plans to head back to school, God was speaking His plans for me loud and clear through paintings, family, and in my heart. I would not be going back to school because 1) the cost is currently too expensive, and 2) we are pregnant with our second child.

Now, I don't know the specific plans God has for me, and I'm not sure that I will ever meet this child that is within me. What I do know is that, through the steady sound of a heartbeat on an ultrasound monitor, God speaks clearly. He speaks directly. He speaks with great wisdom. When He speaks, we must listen. Our lives are not our own, and our decisions are not ours to make. So with a humble heart, I write to express my deepest apologies for misinforming you about my returning to college, and I meekly ask you to pray for us as we anticipate the plans God has for our future...

The bright pink words on the canvas stand out now. They are so plain yet now incredibly beautiful, as I know that God was using them to speak to my heart. "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." How awesome it is when God speaks!


Listening to Him,
Jenna Johnson
(See the “Bright Pink Canvas” here.)

Waters Gone By

Then surely you could lift up your face without shame; yes, you could be steadfast, and not fear; Because you would forget your misery, and remember it as waters that have passed away, And your life would be brighter than noonday. Though you were dark, you would be like the morning.
Job 11:15-17

Just a week ago, I had been accepted to Western Kentucky University’s Graduate program. I was anxious and spent time preparing for my upcoming classes. That was only seven days ago.

Just a month ago, I sat in a church in West Tennessee completely filled with the Spirit. I witnessed praises and testimonies, hearts being changed, and lost being saved. Only thirty days since then.

Just six months ago, I lay on a hospital bed singing Amazing Grace, as I waited for my doctor to arrive with the same news he had told me two days before. Only six months ago, my child went to Heaven.

Just a year ago, my husband drove me to the Emergency Room as the pain in my lower abdomen increased. We waited hours to find out I had a ruptured cyst, and I would be missing a week or more of teaching Kindergarten. Just a year ago…

Just five years ago, I was starting my third year of college at WKU after having had a car wreck the year before. Just ten years ago, I was starting high school at Greenbrier and was busy trying to fit in. Just twenty years ago, I was starting Kindergarten at Watauga Elementary with white-blonde hair and snaggle teeth. All of this seems like yesterday, and yet so much has changed since then.

At five years old, I could have never guessed that God would completely guide my life these twenty years later. I wouldn’t be able to understand why I couldn’t go back to Graduate School or how I would come to marry a preacher. I would have been saddened to know of the death of my own baby, and I couldn’t imagine being a teacher missing school. I couldn’t picture the journey I would take to get to college or the years I would spend trying to make lifelong friends in high school. I could only see what was right in front of me.

Yet God knew. He had designed every year for me. He knew exactly how my hair would grow and why I didn’t need braces as a young child. God was there in my teenage years when I wasn’t making the friends I wanted because they weren’t the ones I would need. He also was there that afternoon on my lunch break as my head collided with the windshield, and He helped me to gain the courage to head back to Western. He planned my wedding and realized my first year of marriage wouldn’t be easy. He specifically intended for my miscarriage to teach me the blessing of children. God put me in churches to help me realize my responsibilities as a Christian and that sitting in my pew wasn’t enough. He also had that acceptance letter sent to my door, and He saw me when I didn’t pray about going back to school. God knew the changes that would take place.

In the times where everything changes, we are able to see God move. We are able to put the past behind us and realize they are simply as the waters gone by. Our futures look brighter when we are able to put in perspective the fact that God is in complete control, and that “All things work together for good to them that love the Lord… (Romans 8:28).” God knows the plans for your life, and no matter how rough they may be, He knows which stream He will take you down. He understands that there are rocks along the way, but the beauty that lies ahead of you is worth the wait.

Riding His Waves,
Jenna Johnson