When He Speaks

A man’s heart plans his way, But the LORD directs his steps.
Proverbs 16:9

For three days, I worked diligently on a painting that would be given to an expectant mother. I watched as the colors fell into place and became one of the most unique things I had ever done. The baby's name soon was creatively decorated onto the canvas, and finally, the decision on which scripture to use was finalized. As I wrote the bright pink verse on the pink and green polka dotted canvas, I did not know then how true they would be for me in the next few days...

Just a week before I began this gift, I had applied and been accepted to Western Kentucky University's online Master's Program in Elementary Education. I was overjoyed at the possibility of pursuing a purpose in my life. The door opened for me so quickly to go back to college; I never once took the time to really pray it through. It just seemed as if it were the right thing to do.

In my heart though, I believe I knew better. Just like the pink and green dots so brilliantly corresponded, a teacher with a year off should take the time to get her Master's degree. Or so I thought. We joke about it now, but my husband questioned me one afternoon about going back to school. The anxiety about it was overwhelming me, and with such clarity and conviction, I told him, "I would rather be a mother, than have a Master's."

For the past nine months, I have longed for a child. In December of 2007, when I learned we were in fact pregnant with our first child, I knew God was answering my prayers. Just two short months later, when that same God took the baby into His arms, I asked Him over and over why it had to be this way when He had just given me all that I wanted. When we didn't get pregnant in the next few months and knowing I would not be teaching in any school in the upcoming fall, we decided that God wanted us to further our education. I shared the information with family after being accepted, and as excited as they all were, my dad said the most peculiar words after learning of the news, “I thought you were calling to tell me you were pregnant." He even seemed disappointed (don't take this wrong because my father would love to see me graduate again).

I'll be honest... I was too. Two years ago when I graduated from Western, I was so thankful to be leaving and had no intentions of going back. God seems to have His own ideas and plans, and He actually wasn't keeping them from me. You see, as I was busy making my own plans to head back to school, God was speaking His plans for me loud and clear through paintings, family, and in my heart. I would not be going back to school because 1) the cost is currently too expensive, and 2) we are pregnant with our second child.

Now, I don't know the specific plans God has for me, and I'm not sure that I will ever meet this child that is within me. What I do know is that, through the steady sound of a heartbeat on an ultrasound monitor, God speaks clearly. He speaks directly. He speaks with great wisdom. When He speaks, we must listen. Our lives are not our own, and our decisions are not ours to make. So with a humble heart, I write to express my deepest apologies for misinforming you about my returning to college, and I meekly ask you to pray for us as we anticipate the plans God has for our future...

The bright pink words on the canvas stand out now. They are so plain yet now incredibly beautiful, as I know that God was using them to speak to my heart. "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." How awesome it is when God speaks!


Listening to Him,
Jenna Johnson
(See the “Bright Pink Canvas” here.)

Leap of Faith

Therefore they said to him, “How were your eyes opened?” He answered and said, “A Man called Jesus made mud and anointed my eyes and said to me, ‘Go to the pool of Siloam and wash.’ So I went and washed, and I received sight.”
John 9:10-11

Jumping into puddles was SO easy when I was a child. It would thrill me, after each storm, to run through these little miracles God had left behind. The mud and the drops that splattered onto my legs never bothered me at all. Turns out I'm not a child anymore, and the truth is every spot irritates me to no end.

The mud on my legs has been quite evident lately. It's been no question to those of you who know me well what it is I've been covered with. You know how my heart aches and what it is I've been longing for, and yet none of those things have come to pass. The puddles continue to pile up around me, and my heart longs for an escape from them all.

Instead of taking these "acts of God" head on, I've tiptoed around them. I've been so scared of getting dirty. I've been clinging to my clean clothes and worrying that the stains that may have found themselves splattered into my life would never come out.

The stains life leaves behind usually cannot be washed away. As they settle into the fabric of who we are, God has no intention of you doing His laundry. He simply uses each spot as a testament of who He is and how faithful we are. Will we spend load after load trying to rid ourselves of these blots, or will we simply trust that He is God and has a special purpose for each blemish?

With all of this in mind, I have quickly learned that each puddle is made for me. I can either run straight through it, wallow in the mud, or tiptoe around the water. There aren't many other options... Dirty may be the only way I can come out, but dirty is what I am, a simple sinner saved by God's grace. God is using the mud to clean me up. Romans 8:28 says that, "All things work together for good to them that love God..." ALL THINGS. Every single puddle. Each spot of mud. He uses them all.

Instead of spending my days avoiding the puddles that life brings me, I should take them head on, full force, and wait for the cleaning. I've realized that maybe God hasn't intended for me to have exactly what I want. All these things I've been stained with are preparing me for the future, and right now is not the future. What God had in store for my life was a brand new puddle, and it's going to take a lot of mud to get through.

I'm plunging straight into college. Not motherhood, not teaching, not housework... College.

I have applied to an Online Elementary Education Master's program from Western Kentucky University and if accepted, will begin classes on Monday, August 25th. Yes, it sounds strange. It's probably crossed your mind that I just washed my hands of teaching a little over three months ago... But God wasn't completely finished. He wanted me to go back, get my hands dirty, and love learning all over again. Here it is, one of the biggest puddles I've faced, and yet the only way around this one is a leap of faith...

One Step at a Time,
Jenna Johnson

Moved by God

Then Haggai, the Lord’S messenger, spoke the Lord’S message to the people, saying, “I am with you, says the Lord.” 14So the Lord stirred up the spirit of Zerubbabel the son of Shealtiel, governor of Judah, and the spirit of Joshua the son of Jehozadak, the high priest, and the spirit of all the remnant of the people; and they came and worked on the house of the Lord of Hosts, their God, (Haggai 1:13-14)

Have you ever been at a standstill in your spiritual life and wondered if you were getting anywhere? There are only two possible solutions to your waiting. Do you remember what Moses told the people as they stood before the Red Sea? He said, “Do not be afraid, stand still and see the salvation of the Lord.” (Ex 15:16) Sometimes, we stand still because God wants to show Himself strong in a miraculous way. However, we can often find ourselves standing still and stagnating because of our own negligence to the revealed will of God.

In the book of Haggai, God sends a strong message to the Jews who had been permitted to return to their land and was suppose to be rebuilding the temple- God’s house of worship. During the initial stage of construction on the foundation, opposition from without and within stopped the work for 14 years. With the work being halted, people began returning to their own selfish interests and were beginning to experience the discipline of the Lord. They were eating and drinking but were not satisfied. They clothed themselves but were not warm. They were earning wages but only to put their money in bags with holes. It sounds like they were wasting their time on misplaced priorities.

Can you remember when you were saved by God’s grace and were ready and willing to serve God with all of your heart? Then, opposition from within and without came leaving you discouraged and forgetful about what God had done for you? In James 4:4 we read, “You are like an unfaithful wife who loves her husband’s enemies. Don’t you realize that making friends with God’s enemies—the evil pleasures of this world—makes you an enemy of God? I say it again, that if your aim is to enjoy the evil pleasure of the unsaved world, you cannot also be a friend of God (TLB). In God’s grace, He told the Jews five times in this book to “Consider your ways!” God raised up a Proclaimer of truth that called the people to build the Lord’s house instead of worrying about their earthly palaces.

When the Word is spoken, we can either embrace it and act or deflect and act like we heard. The truth is that much dissatisfaction with life is because of neglect for God’s Word. When the people began listening to the Word, fear struck their hearts, and God comforted them and moved them to obey His will. He stirred the leader’s spirit all the way down to the rest of the people. God awakened their hearts to their low living, challenged them to be courageous and launch out on His promises, and empowered them to perform His will that His glory would be revealed among His people.

Where do you find yourself today? Are you in a waiting or quiet moment? Then realize that we can’t direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails. Either you are waiting for God to move or God is waiting for you to move on what He has already spoken. In January, God moved my heart toward a young lady in church. He opened my eyes to my wife. In eight days, I went from single and not looking to engaged. He moved. I obeyed. He continues to move my heart to be worshipper of Him, a willing husband, and a worker in building His Kingdom. May the Word of God stir your spirit to obey and patiently wait in prayer as He leads the way!

Clouds upon Clouds

Hebrews 12:1-2 Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.

(As I stepped onto the plane on May 22, 2003, I was going through my normal routine. I was about to take flight once again. As I began looking out across the sky, I began looking out at the clouds. What a privilege to see God’s handiwork in such a manner. I had been taking this for granted. During those moments, I was reminded of the magnificence of God. With his help, my heart pondered these words.)

Clouds upon Clouds,
And sky upon sky,
So is the boundless love of God.
For the clouds have no weight,
Nor do they take up space,
Yet I see them.

They are bright with a radiance
That is only produced—
By the sun.
Sometimes they can be seen through—
Sheer existence,
Others have depth to which can capture and ravish you

Everything is so bright within.
I get lost.
My mind is in wonder.
I think of Heaven.
And the brightness therein.
I can only imagine……

If the brightness of the sun
Can illuminate a cloud
How much more could Heaven be—
Because God’s Son will shed light for ETERNITY.

He knows my name.
How can I be ashamed.
For this God I know
Has made my heart as white as snow.
Much like the cloud I see,
In its vastness and purity.

I can’t help but Love.
For God’s spirit has descended into my soul
As a Dove.
I can’t comprehend or even understand
His heights, nor depths
I simply believe, trust

I have a lively hope
That beckons me to my Home,
Yet I can’t go there, until it’s fully prepared
I have so much work to do—
The fields are white,
Laborers few.

I am called, I am chosen
What shall I do, but wait
For God will guide my heart each day
To find his perfect way

That is exactly where I want to be
Whether DC, Orlando, or TN
I am fully persuaded
That where He sends, I’ll go
Not to be debated!

Each day- I’ll live,
As the clouds above and below me.
I will float in the air.
I’ll be free from all care
My Father knows my needs,
And will supply them so—
I just “GO”

As the clouds are guided by the wind,
So the Holy Spirit will direct me within.
And as the clouds are illuminated,
So my soul will be opened,
Cleaned,
Pure
That I can be a reflection
Allure

Hopefully, someone will see,
This light within me.
For I could never produce it
A Light of this sort

I went to court—
The sentence Death
But a man said “No!”
Because I love him so…
Take me instead, OH! What dread???
My heart said, “I have no choice”
For I could not repay the debt—I owed
Ohhh! The Love He showed

I still could not understand
Until one night on my bed
He took all my sin away
I stand in His grace
Someday, I’ll see my Savior’s face!

Until then, I will be as these clouds
Free fall’n in the sky—
Yet never more to die!

I AM made me white.
What a beautiful site!
Clouds upon Clouds

Breathe

(10-1-03 Dallas, TX 7:23AM)

Genesis 1:2 “And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters.”

The waters of my soul
Are as smooth as lake in morn
Calmness upon the face
Until he breathes a ripple born

Soft like morning dew
Upon the flower does set
To drink one drop anew
As sweet as when two have met

Sometimes rising like a geyser abrupt
Bursting forth from earth
I can’t help but shout
Of the perfumes of His mirth

Maybe a nightly rain
A gentle little shower
To cover all of my pain
And remind me of His power

This well within
Runs deep into the ground
I can’t even try to begin
To explain this drink I’ve found

A mist he gives
For me to be an evaporation
Poured in poured out, I live
Waiting for the Son, I grow in patience

My waters are calm this morn
For the storms of night have passed
Though my flesh and spirit are torn
Breathe
That I may know the task