How to go from single to engaged in 8 days!

January 31, 2007

Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth! The Lord of hosts is with us; The God of Jacob is our refuge. Psalms 46:10

Silenced… This could be the best word to describe God’s grace in my life right now. Have you ever received something that you knew you didn’t deserve yet the gift was made for you and only you. To reject the gift would be an insult to the giver and reveal a heart so full of pride. Sometimes, it is hard to receive gifts from another individual. We are taught that it is better to give than receive and have lost the art of graciously accepting and embracing the gift that is yours.

Throughout my life, I have never been a very good gift giver. Often, I was afraid to reveal my heart to someone else. I had rather kept it hidden in the darkened past where it was safe and isolated from everything and everyone else. I wanted to keep my heart to myself. It was one thing that I seemed to have control over. Have you ever felt this way- being afraid of letting go?

About three and a half years ago on a long April night, I learned what it meant to give your heart away. I lay on my bed, dead in my sin, realizing that the only way for me to be saved by God’s grace was to lay my heart on the altar of eternity. I learned that you are only able to keep that which you are able to give away. That night, my heart became Jesus’ and it has been that way ever since. I often try to shrink back into the shades of gray when He wants to draw near and speak. It hurts when I find myself there away from His light, and I honestly want Him to stay away at times. When He draws near, I know that I must change. Meeting God in the silence of your soul causes you to change. Jesus can never change. He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. This is what it means to be a Christian- a constant surrender to the unchanging hand of God. When His hand is on your life, you must let go of your grip on everything temporal and cling to the eternal. His hand will protect, point and patiently lead in the right direction as we learn to wait on Him.

To be still in heart, mind, and soul is to be free as God’s peace fills your longing heart with a refreshing drink from above. To be still is to surrender and let someone greater control your life. To be still and patiently wait is difficult for the flesh but refreshing to the spirit. Ever since, I met Jesus the first time, I have been learning to listen to His promises and wait in prayer and expectation for His answer. Habakkuk 2:2-4 says, "Then the Lord answered me and said: “Write the vision, And make it plain on tablets, That he may run who reads it. For the vision is yet for an appointed time; But at the end it will speak, and it will not lie. Though it tarries, wait for it; Because it will surely come, It will not tarry. “Behold the proud, His soul is not upright in him; But the just shall live by his faith."

Over these past few years, I have been trying to wait and walk in faith at the same time. I can see God’s promises afar off. I have learned to focus on Him and His will in my life. Jesus promises in Matthew 6:33, “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.” Jesus is telling the truth.

All my life, I have waited for the day when I would walk into the compliment to me. For some reason, I always wanted to be married, have a family and raise children like I saw in so many other Christian homes. However, after meeting Jesus and being called to singleness, I surrendered to idea of marriage though it tarried down deep in my heart. I knew that my singleness had to be used to get to know God better. How could I ever be the husband, father, brother or friend to anyone, if I didn’t have a correct relationship with God? And so—I began reading my bible, writing in journals and learning to pray in my childlike way. An incredible romance began. A Divine romance developed between my soul and Jesus’. The love was real, sometimes convicting, comforting or challenging. Nevertheless, I was committed but not in my own strength, but the strength and faith that Jesus gave me. The reconciliation, power and magnetism of the cross captured my heart and has consumed my life. I loved being single with a single passion—Jesus Christ.

Now, everything has changed once again. You know how I told you that when Jesus draws near something has to change. It has. Over the past few weeks, the Lord has opened my eyes to see someone running right beside me at my same speed. I have been learning that everyman had a work to do, a will to obey and had forgotten about the woman to love. I was so consumed in Jesus that He had to open my eyes to the second greatest gift in my life. The one that I had waited for so long had been watching me only a few feet away every Sunday. He brought her to me, and showed me that I must die to myself once again. My singleness has been laid on the altar. It was a blessed time of learning and growing alone with God. What a joy it was, but greater joys are ahead. Whatever He does He does forever. He has altered my life in sending me a future wife. I know she is the one that God made especially for me. He brought her to me and said here is a priceless gift to my son. In receiving this incredible gift, I am humbled by His grace, overjoyed by His presence and silenced by His love.

Because God helped me to wait while He worked on my character, I have gone from a relationship status of single and not looking 8 days ago to engaged and plan to get married on March 31. My wife was right before my eyes. I had known her for two and a half years and she had become my best friend at church. The Lord spoke to our hearts and confirmed through prayer and His Word, my group of wise counselors, our parents, and our church. We knew it was right and are learning to stand on Ecclesiastes 4:12 “And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.” With Jesus Christ as the lover of our souls, teacher and best friend, we will begin our new life together. The rewards of waiting on God are beyond the description of pure, holy, right and good. I stand in amazement that “He hath made every thing beautiful in his time.” Ecclesiastes 3:11