Silence!

“Stand in awe, and sin not; commune with your own heart upon your bed, and be still.” (Psalm 4:4)

The clock had already passed ten. My car was not yet in the driveway. It was parked among other teenagers’ cars as we all blatantly skipped curfew. We sat and talked for hours and the laughter and discussions we had are still fresh in my mind. That thrill of staying out late was something I longed for, but the fear that overwhelmed me on the ride home vanquished the fun I just had.


From the road, I could see that the lights were turned off in the house. As I drove up the driveway, the gravel beneath the tires seemed as loud as thunder. I quickly dimmed the lights and quietly turned the lock in the back door where I heard no sound. I rounded the corner towards the stairs, and there he was, sitting in the dark in the chair beside the steps.


The silence in the room was frightening, and his voice was stern as he prompted me to get in bed. The walk up the staircase was difficult; my knees were weak and my heart was pounding. As anxious as one could be, I rolled into bed in the clothes I had been wearing so as to not keep him up any longer… Neither of us would get any sleep. The shrill of laughter and chatter was gone, and I was forced to listen to the silence. It was the last thing I wanted to hear, so I would turn on the radio until he, right below me on the first floor, said to turn it off. My father wanted me to think about my actions in the deafening stillness.


Our Heavenly Father can silence us as well, whether we have earned it or not. My mind wanders to when Jesus was on the cross of Calvary. Luke 23:35-37 says, “And the people stood beholding. And the rulers also with them derided him, saying, He saved others; let him save himself, if he be Christ, the chosen of God. And the soldiers also mocked him, coming to him, and offering him vinegar, and saying, If thou be the king of the Jews, save thyself.” Not once did Jesus reply to their loud attempts to ridicule him. He was silent. His thoughts were on doing the Father’s will (Luke 23:34).


Why is it so hard for me to be quiet, to simply stop doing, and start listening? Here I am in a season of complete silence, no Kindergarteners screaming or whistles blowing, and yet I cannot sit still. As Brian prepared to leave for Israel, he wrote me a letter which I opened today as his flight took off. It was evident to me that my Father wants me to hear Him as I read what Brian had written, “…Please use this quiet time to get closer to the Lord rather than running around aimlessly…” Above the noise, the daily rush, and my constant need to be going, God spoke loud and clear, and now, here I sit, in a quiet house, waiting for what He might do next.


Hushed and humbled,
Jenna Johnson
Jennarjohnson@yahoo.com


P.S. – Please continue to cover Brian and the group in prayer as they embark on a 12 day tour of Israel. I will be filling in for him while he is away. He is to return on June 7th. Contact me with any questions or concerns.